40 weeks and counting

Dear everyone who is calling me twice a day,

The reason I haven’t called or emailed to tell you about the baby being born is not because I am overwhelmed with new motherhood, laying on the floor incapacitated by contractions unable to reach a phone, or using your new grandchild/niece as a pawn in a strange mindgame.

It is because the baby has not been born. Yes, I know it’s supposed to be any day now. Yes, I am getting pretty tired of being pregnant. That’s why I’m ignoring you and everything else that reminds me of said pregnancy. When the baby is born, I will let you know.

love, Clare

3 thoughts on “40 weeks and counting

  1. Sarah Sickles

    Pretty much every time I speak to Jaffray I ask about you. And every time he sighs that he gets to touch its ass for a little while longer because once it’s out of you, it’ll be creepy.

    Hang in there…

  2. Clare Post author

    Dave – if you’d called, you would have gotten to hear my new phone greeting: “Hello, this is Clare, NO, I HAVEN’T HAD THE FREAKING BABY!”. She’ll probably just be born on saturday when they induce me.

    Sarah – Creepy, and also a lot poopier. Now is definitely the best time for ass-grabbing.


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