Giving my shrubbery the prom dress I always wanted

This is what happens when you wait until the day before Brood XIII is expected to emerge to buy your shrub-protectant tulle: you go to the fabric store and find that they’ve completely sold out of earth-toned tulle, and that you’ll have to outfit your shrubbery in Sugar Plum Fairy-style blue sparkles.

And you’re lucky to get the blue sparkly tulle, because people in line behind you are forced to buy lace to wrap their landscapes, like a festive collaboration between Christo and Jessica McClintock.

My new smokebush is the prom queen of my front yard. I should make it wear a tiara too.

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